A Thicket of Roses
by FaithfulWhispers
Summary: When facing pain and heartache, the most natural response is to shield the heart itself. Winding it up with thorns, allowing the roses to bloom inside, so that the love will live within the thicket. But will April be able to make her way back into Donnie's heart, knowing how badly she hurt him? And better yet, will he allow himself to let her in, despite how long it's been?
1. Prelude

Prelude:

 _The floral scent of roses mixes with the smoke of the city air, lingering around my nose. In one hand, I hold the bouquet of yellow roses, tied with a purple ribbon. And in the other, a small red box with a golden bow. These are April's Valentine's Days gifts that I spent weeks preparing, and I'm on my way to deliver them. 'Tonight's the night. I'm going to ask her out.'_

 _Excitement runs through my veins, and courage radiates through my chest. After all, we've gotten so close. 'We're almost always together, and I just...I can't keep backing out from doing this…'_

 _My lips stretch to a bright smile as I land right outside her window. Inhaling deeply, I lift my hand to knock, but I cease all movements. My breath catches in my lungs._

 _Her window's open. A small sliver of light shines through the cracks, and sounds of soft laughter seeps out from within. April's beautiful voice. But she's not alone...An all too familiar voice murmurs over hers, and I swallow hard, then exhale._

 _Gathering up my courage, I nudge the panel open some more and peek inside. My stomach flops as the bile rises. The yellow roses drop to the metal flooring as I cover my mouth to stifle a gasp. Right before my eyes is April's bare back and Casey's hands press against her curves. She steps on her toes as he lowers his head, and I know what's next. I know, but I can't bring myself to move._

 _Her lips meet his, and that's when I squeeze my eyes shut. Right there, my heart shatters. My mind, blank._

 _I turn away from the window and jump down into the shadows. As I run within the darkness, my hand clutches the box, refusing to let it go, but also crumpling it in the process._

' _She's made her choice and it isn't me…'_


	2. Chapter 1

A droplet of water spills down my left cheek as my eyes open. Moisture blurs my vision, and so I wipe my eyes with my arm. The memory came to me again as I slept. No matter how many times I live through it, a sharp pain resides in my chest when I wake. It's always the same: a bitter memory of a broken heart.

Sighing out in annoyance, I push myself up and swing my legs off the bed. The air feels rather warm, even down here within the sewers. It feels good against my skin, and I smile as I remember that it's summer and not that dreary winter night.

However, a frown of disgust replaces that smile when I glance over at my shelf. That crumpled red box, sticking out from the rest of the items. I looked at it before I went to sleep, so that's probably why I had _that_ dream again.

 _I ought to move it out of sight. It's been years, so there's no reason to keep brooding over it._

Instead of getting up and going over it, I cup my face with my hands. I don't feel like dealing with it right now. What I really need is a shower and breakfast. After a few moments, I gather to my feet and shuffle out of my room.

The rest of the lair is quiet. No one else has risen yet; and honestly, it's moments like this when I'm at ease. There's no questioning. There's no loud noises or disruptions. It's just me and the calming silence. Lately, I've been debating about moving out. Just finding another section of the sewers to call my own, so that I can work in peace. But every time I debate on it, I realize that I belong here with my brothers. Even if things can get a little difficult at times.

I go about my morning routine as normal, not letting my previous emotions hinder me. After showering, I make myself some toast with a small layer of peanut butter. I then glance over at the coffee pot, but decide that I rather have a glass of milk this morning.

 _I need to lay off the caffeine…_

It makes me a little too jittery, and I rather work with a clear conscious. Not that my conscious is, of course. Sighing, I stare into the creamy liquid as it fills the glass. I'm not usually this bitter in the morning, it's just...I've got a lot on my plate as it is without that dream tearing away at my focus.

A sliding of a chair breaks me out of my thoughts, and I look up to meet my older brother's gaze. "Morning, Leo."

"Morning, Donnie. You're up early," he said through a yawn.

Putting the carton of milk aside, I bite into my toast, tasting the slight honey in the spread. "Yeah, I need to do some maintenance on the vehicles today and it's going to be an all day job."

Leo nods as I take another bite. He doesn't respond, and instead pushes away from the table to get his own breakfast. Even though it's not the real reason I'm awake before Leo was, it's still the truth. Checking all the vehicles and servicing them will take me the entire day, and I really don't mind that. It's something to keep me busy at least.

After finishing my breakfast, I discard my glass and plate into the sink and head to the lab. By the time I get the Shellraiser up and mounted for servicing, Mikey and Raph wake up. I block out Raph's irate complaints that echo through the lair and pull on my safety gloves. Mikey must've done something again. And frankly, I'm not in the mood to get caught in the crossfire.

So I reside myself in my lab, beneath the Shellraiser. I replace the belts and tighten a few bolts. Then I change the oil, as well as calibrate major parts to the weaponry. Just the usual stuff. The Shellraiser takes me a few hours, but once everything is tuned up and ready to go, I lower it back down to the ground and step back.

An ache starts to well up in the back of my neck from craning it back for so long. I remove the oil stained gloves from hands and flop down in my wheely chair. Then with tender fingers, I message the crook in the back of my neck, right below the ride of my shell. The soreness subsides and the nerves unwind after a few minutes.

I linger in my seat for a few more moments. My eyes drift across the wall across from me. Many photos from over the years line the wall, some fairly new while others had a thin layer of dust. _My next job should be to clean in here. When was the last time I dusted?_

However once I focus on a blank space in the wall, I get my answer. I haven't even touched the photos since I took _those_ down. They were a distraction, and every time I so much as glanced at them, I would go into a useless state. If I wanted to move on and focus, I needed to remove her presence from my work space. I couldn't keep-

"Hey, guys!" April's cheery voice rings out.

Wincing, I throw a glare over towards the doorway. "What a coincidence," I mutter under my breath. Then hoisting myself to my feet, I stride over to the lab door and lock it shut before she could show herself. _It always seems like she shows up whenever I think about her…_

I pinch between my eyes and grumble, "Whatever, it doesn't matter. I have work to do."

And once again, I shut myself away in order to avoid her. It's a necessity that I keep my distance. Sure, I can finish the job later. And hell, I may even be acting a little petty. But staying away-well hiding away, is a system that's been working for me. It's been working for both of us.

 _We can never go back to how it was._

Pulling on my gloves once more, I make my way over to the stealth bike. That's next on my list, and my brothers will be on my case again later, but frankly it's none of their business. It never was...At least being with my creations will provide me some comfort for now.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the hiatus. I went through a funk and had some stress in real life. But I got a sudden burst of inspiration, and I hope that you enjoy the start of this series. This hopefully won't be a long series, but I hope to expand my range with it. I also plan on posting the last chapter of Grinding Gears when I can. That will be finished, if it's the last thing I do. Anyways, thanks for sticking by me and supporting me. It's been a full year since I've started fanfiction, and I can't believe how far I've gotten. Thanks again, everyone!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: Hey, everyone! I just want to apologize for the long delay in actual updates. I've had a lot going on. I started my B.A.S. program at my school, and it's a lot harder than what I expected it to be. I also worked on other things for the fandom, which I really don't mind. However, I want to thank all of you for the support, and I appreciate all the feedback I received. Anyways, I hope y'all will like it! Happy reading! ^.^  
**

* * *

The day passed on fairly fast, and now here I am, sitting at the kitchen table. I meet Leo's gaze as his posture becomes increasingly tense. His mouth presses to a fine line, and I can see couple of veins pop out in his brow. To be honest, I saw this coming; so when he called me to the kitchen, I just meekly obliged.

"Donnie," he starts, disrupting the silence, "you can't keep doing this."

I narrow my eyes back at him. "Doing what?"

"Locking yourself up every time April comes over. We've been over this–"

"Yes, we have," I interrupt. He doesn't even need to keep talking, since I already know where this is going, and frankly, I'm not in the mood. "Leo, we discussed this, and we came to the agreement that as long as I'm a functional member of the team, you'd stay out of my business."

He rolls his eyes and leans back in his seat. "Yes, I know… but, how can you be a functional member of the unit if you–"

"Keep locking myself away," I finish for him.

"Yes," he bit out.

"I told you this morning that I was going to be servicing our vehicles today. You know, the ones that this clan uses on a regular basis? If I don't keep them maintained, then the Earth Protection Force will cream us if we happen to run into them on the streets. April or not, that was something I was already going to do."

Now I really had him. His cheeks puff out in annoyance, then he grumbles under his breath. But I remain silent, waiting to see what half-assed thing he decides to throw at me next. Once he finishes grumbling, he inhales and looks me straight in the eye.

"Either way, you can't keep avoiding her forever. You're going to have to get over it sooner or later, and it'll make missions a lot easier to manage if you could."

Again, I'm not impressed with his reasoning. It's issues like this that just make me want to pick up my bag and go. I'm tired of being nagged. I'm so sick of being bossed at.

Sure, he might have a valid point–just one that I just don't care for. Leo doesn't understand my reasoning or feelings, but then again, how can I expect him to?

I release a sigh and rub my temples in a soothing manner. "Can we just drop this? I already agreed to put that stuff aside when we're on patrols or missions. What I do with my personal life is _my_ business. Don't think you can boss me around like you used to when we were teenagers."

Leo's face fell briefly, and his authoritative manner dissipated. He shifts in his seat and glances down at his hands before looking back up at me.

"Donnie, I know you're hurt… However, you can't keep holding grudges against her…"

"Hurt? You think I'm _hurt_?" I scoff back at him.

"Well yes, but I-"

"Guess what? I'm not hurt. In fact, I'm fine. _Okay_?" My voice raises with slight aggression, hoping to get the point across.

He narrows his eyes back at me, a sign that his patience is wearing thin. "Obviously you're not if you can't even be in the same room with her, because of something you refuse to let go of." His voice deepens with agitation as he points an accusing finger at me. "It's that passive aggressive behavior right there, that probably–"

I raise my hand up to silence him. If he finishes that sentence, then I will probably lunge at him over this table. After all, Leo just does not understand.

"Stop acting like you like you know everything. I backed off on her. It was _her_ that came onto _me_ , and–" I lick my lips and shake my head. "You know what? This isn't even worth discussing. I'm going back to the lab."

"Donnie," he presses in his most earnest tone.

But I ignore him, sliding away from the table and not even giving him a second glance. As I walk back to the lab, a pang of regret hits me, but it's too late now. Words can't be taken back once they're spoken, but it doesn't stop the wishful thinking that you could.

Honestly, I know Leo cares about me and my well-being, but he needs to understand that I think and see things differently than he does. I have my own methods on how I deal with things.

 _Though, I was still kind of asking for it… I'm the one that locked the door…_

With a violent shake, I clear my head and open the lab door. It's my personal space, and he's not Master Splinter. I should be allowed to lock my lab door if I want to… I sigh at my own petty reasoning and just let it go.

As I plop down in my swivel chair, exhaustion runs through me. My temples ache just the slightest bit, and I can feel agitation skim below the surface. I withdraw my T-phone and glance at it. Not a single message. Heck, no one has texted me in days, and it's been weeks since I've last heard from Bishop. He's the reason we're wanted by the government in the first place!

I haphazardly discard my phone to my desk and lay my head down by the keyboard. At this point, I'm not sure what to do. Leo hasn't decided what our next move will be against the EPF, even though I suggest we make a mission to hack their files and wipe any data on us. He said it was too risky, and I can't hack them with my computer, because I'd risk giving away our location. So as of right now, I'm out of options.

Closing my eyes, I decide not to think about it. I'm just grateful I managed to get through that conversation. Seriously, Leo has been such a hard-ass lately, and it's getting to the point where even Mikey and Raph have been siding with him.

 _None of them know anything, and I'd wish they'd stay out of my business. It's really taxing on my nerves._

As quickly as the thought swept on by, self-regret pulls at me. Maybe I am being a little petty, but why can't I just be left to my own devices? That's really all I want.

 _'No, you just want to be a grouchy old turtle,'_ Mikey's voice echoes in my head. _'When will ya' let things go, bro?'_

I jerk up in my seat and slam my fists against my desk. The beakers rattle from the force, and I can feel the throbbing in my temples worsen.

"I'm not holding any grudges. I'm doing just _fine_."

Realization hits as I glance down at my work space, and so, I take deep, calming breaths. There's nothing to worry about, so maybe I'll just work on schematics or something. Anything will do, to be honest. I just need to keep busy, because at the moment, that's what I need.

Without another word, I pull out some paper and a pencil, then begin scribbling away. Each etch of the pencil brings some relief, until finally, I'm drawn to my ideas. Everything else doesn't matter to me right now…

Besides, I can apologize to Leo later, but that does _not_ mean he doesn't owe me one either.


End file.
